And jokes

What is brown and sticky?

What is white and gooey?

What is long and hard?

(Tell me in the comments)

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.

Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.

Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?

They always see a stepdad and stepsis.

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?

They are both invisible.

The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

Youtubers say like and subscribe!

Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.

Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.

A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."

What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?

A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.

I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.

Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."