And jokes
I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me: Then which one are you?
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and went right.
What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.
Memes
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!