And jokes

I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.

It really gave me a hard time indeed.

What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?

The bird can fly off the roof.

Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out?

The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?

Why do orphans want to be dogs?

Because they want their own bed and food.

Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.

Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...

Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.

What is black and long?

A line at KFC.

Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.

What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?

They both need a hoe to stay in business.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!

Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.

What did momma seal name her twin girls?

Luceal and Sealia.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?

Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.

What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?

A crookodile.