And jokes

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

What are an orphan's least favorite shows?

"Full House" and "Fuller House."

Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?

He should just go to his mom and dad!

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??

Rollin' and Controllin'.

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.

My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."

LOL

Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.

Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.

Q: What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?

A: One knows where home is.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!

What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."

I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

Satan and the devil are alter egos.

Why did my dad cross the road?

To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.

Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?

Because they use honeycombs.