Almond jokes

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.

I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.

I want an almond-flavored biscuit.

Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.

Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?

Thing 2: I don't know, what?

Thing 1: One gets hard faster.

I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that’s just nuts.