All jokes

All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.

My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.

Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

All my 9/11 jokes seem to fly too low.

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Me and Billy Bob the 1st, Billy Bob the 2nd, and Billy Bob 4th Jr. were all in the Twin Towers.

If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

What has 4 legs and two gloves?

All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Guys, I'm back...

Here's my joke:

What is blue and red all over?

Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.

What's red and got makeup all over?

A Bill Cosby victim.

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.

What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?

We're all empty on the inside.

Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.