All jokes

I wish all my grass was emo.

It would cut itself.

If I have ligma and you have ligma, how about you ligma balls? 😏 (It’s all about how you pronounce the end.)

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

Gwen, do you have to be so happy all the time? Even you don't get the joke!

All (DYM 93).

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.

What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?

The Munch Bunch.

Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.

All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.

After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,

Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"

I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.

Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming!

What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!

They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.

Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.

I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.

All go gansta until the two towers fall down on you.

Why is Santa so happy? He knows where all the naughty girls and ho ho hos live.

What is a snake's favorite drug?

Adder-all.

What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?

First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.

Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂