All jokes

Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?

Because they keep cutting in line.

If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.

A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.

Q: Why did the math book look so sad?

A: Because of all its problems.

Why does the cannibal village not exist anymore?

They all ate each other.

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I tell you, you look pretty, but all you do is look like a poo.

I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!

Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!

PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(

Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.

When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...

"I love you with all my heart."

So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.

But don't worry, he is all right now.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

All then are bad.

A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?

I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.

One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.

It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.

Farmer: Phew! I got all the eggs from the chickens!

Farmer #2: EGGcellent!

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!

What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

A man lost his left arm.

He's all right now.

The Twin Towers were mad at each other, so they all just started launching planes at themselves.