Adoption jokes
You're adopted.
You are adopted.
No cap. No one loves you.
Bye.
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
I go to get my mail.
Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"
Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"
Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
Why is an orphan crying about its family?
Because it can't "let it go."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
The F in orphan stands for family.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
100% of them are like him!
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.