Adoption jokes
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"
Why don’t orphans like baseball?
They have no home to run to.
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
My career is worth more than your adoption.
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
Wanna see a joke? Open the front-facing camera.
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
A: One of them gets picked.
Why don't orphans go on trips at school?
Parent signature: _______________
why do orphans go to church?
because they can finally call someone "father."
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
Why can't orphans have iPhones?
Because they can't find the home button.
What type of cake can't orphans eat?
Home made.
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.