When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then “WHOA-MAN!!”
Today; Worst day ever
My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember there are no speed bumps..... I hit bambie
Man says "im flying" realizes he was pushed out of a plane.
What’s worse than dropping your ice cream ?
The Holocoust
what’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer,and a poor kids parents getting ran over by military tractors?When grandma got ran over by a reindeer,the kids actually gave a shit.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay moving on you took to long, how many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge (*Their reply* Idk how many) 3, Open the fridge put the elephant into the fridge and close the door. how do you put a giraffe into the fridge (*Their reply* 3...) Wrong 4, Open the fridge take out the elephant put in the giraffe and close the door, why did sally fall off the swing, A fridge fell on her
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What's the good news? "We managed to save his arm." "What's the bad news?" "We couldn't save the rest of him."
a girl and a boy were on a date, the boy kept farting. the girl asked, What Is Wrong?!?!the boy replied, "explosive diareah." the girl said ew.
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. the center of the explosion, the bathroom.
It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, " I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean.. I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
So Santa fell down the chimney but it was a lit chimney...his names no longer Santa. It's crisp cringle. Pls send help :).
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says"I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?" Man,"Sorry i thought it was the start of Eastenders"
Once my friends bakery burned down...His business is toast.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he feel off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
Whats the definition of dissapointment running in to a wall with a bonner but it hits only hits your nose
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident
An amputation
I will remember my biker buddies last words ̈Why did you cut in front of me ̈.
what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...a girl scout that got hit by a car
