My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.
My uncle and I have some what of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
When we were visiting the hoover dam. I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Wheres the dam snack bar?"
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth, it's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet
i was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit to EAR-itating
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
what did the toilet say to the other toilet? u look a bit flushed
so the coach got mad at me cause im the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum and i was just keeping the ball to myself and the coach pulled me aside and said pass to others i said why and he said theres no i in team and i said ya but theres an m e
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
Me: Are you okay?
Dentist: I'm just a bit surprised. When I said to you "spit it out" I wasn't expecting you to say you've been shagging my wife.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist? At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
i saw a website for orphans, it was a bit confusing because i could not find the home page.
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
you know i got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk. how dairy!!
I arrived at a restaurant early and manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said I don’t mind and he said OK. Take these trays to table 9.
after 6 months of lockdown
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself
it’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight I told her to keep her chins up
"Hey I heard you were a bit dow- where's John?" "He died" "oh I'm so sorry but I got you food " (after they eat) "Hey how did John taste seasoned and cooked.?"
