Worst Jokes Ever

Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?

Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.

Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.

5 minutes later

Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?

Teacher, the one sucking it?

Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.

Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!

Yo momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.

Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.

"Akeld" sounds like a 56-year-old man just picking on kids for no reason. I say, get a life!

My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.

Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?

For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.

Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.

Your forehead is so big that it was used as a billboard.

Imposter: Did you do Sawcon task?

Crewmate: What's Sawcon?

Imposter: Sawcon deez nuts!

And (DYM 106).

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, gravity was no more.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

RX XD INBOUND!

When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.

Orphan: Where are my parents?

God: New York City.

Orphan: But they used to live in China.

What am I doing?

Your mom.

Why can’t orphans have a good childhood?

Because they could not go to theme parks! 😅😅

What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?

A family.

What key opens a banana?

A monkey.

Chapter 1. "Kid teacher"

Mrs. Lewis: Class, I want everyone to look at their textbooks and find a reasonable essay topic. My suggestion is page 232 or 678. Now, this essay counts as the final grade for the semester. Now do it, or you will repeat 5th grade again! Now turn to page 100, and we'll start reading from there. Do you all understand?

Neilela: Yes ma'am, quick question, we don't have to do it today... do we?

Mrs. Lewis: Yes! It is today!

Andrua: It sounds boring, and all I have to do today is be a big jerk who gives way too much instruction.

Mrs. Lewis: Anyway, let's get to work.

56 hours later.

Mrs. Lewis: Kids, when I call you, please tell me what you liked about your essay. When I call your name, Carl.

Carl: Why me? Yes?

Mrs. Lewis: What did you like about the story, Carl?

Carl: Um... I liked it when... um... um... um... um...

Jeklen: He didn't even read the story because he's too busy trying to look up the letter "J" and its meaning!

Carl: Jeklen, shut up and stop biting your hair.

Jeklen: At least I know what the letter "J" is.

Mrs. Lewis: Class, please listen. Carl, did you read the story that I asked you?

Carl: Well, not really because you were the one reading it in class, so...

Vronica: For real!

Carl: Mhmmm

Mrs. Lewis: Listen class, this homework needs to be done today! DO IT!

Kimbriel: Ms. Lewis, I have a lot of questions about tonight's homework.

Mrs. Lewis: Yes?

Kimbriel: You assigned so many things just for a little test! What?

Mrs. Lewis: I need a break! Peyton, you're in charge!

All students: NO, NOT PEYTON !!!!!!

Peyton: Me? In charge? Of the class?

Jessica: Wow, but you're all about the boredom!

Peyton: Shut up! yeeeeeeee

Peyton: Ms. Lewis, there must be a mistake, how can I be in charge? I'm 11... I think...

Ari: To think that yesterday she thought she was 8 years old.

Oh sorry... I think.

Mrs. Lewis: Have you ever heard of a teacher's vacation?

All students: That's not a thing!

I never heard of it...

Mrs. Lewis: Well, me and Ms. Sumrall, we are going on a "teacher vacation", we can do it because we become calmer, or we don't get angry at the students. AND WE CAN DO IT!

Khloe: Why?

Mrs. Lewis: Because I am an adult.

Ms. Sumrall: Is Petrina ready?

Ms. Lewis: Yes, thank goodness for this!

Kenya: Bye? "Chapter 2" To be continued...