In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,
Then the speed bump starts screaming.
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yea, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
Q: who are the fastest readers? A: twin tower victims they got 80 stories in ten seconds
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer; The front row of a Trump Rally!
The real dead hooked joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC, you know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker Pork. Concidering it stretching from the 80's-2000's pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton Pork.
what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people "WHERES THE MEAT!"
if 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and woman want equality than maybe they should just kill themselves
I don't know what an hd is, but my doctor says I have 80 of em'
Who are the fastest readers? 911 victims cause they went through 80 story’s in 10 seconds 😂
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
Beneath this monumental stone Lise 80 pounds of skin and bone
I like my women how I like my golf score. Low in the 80s and with a handicap.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
What does an orphan have in common with a 80 year old women “there parents will never come back
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stock piled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
