7 jokes

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 7 seconds.

6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?

Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

Why was sis afraid of seven?

Cuz 7 ate 9.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:

"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.

But why does 10 have PTSD?

Cuz it’s between 9/11.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets 7 years of bad luck.

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.

Type this in your calculator:

5 days a week (type in 5),

6 different classes (type in 6),

7 hours a day (type in 7),

x

2 semesters (type in 2),

=

flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

Why did 7 kill 11?

Because now 7 was even.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

If 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?

Because he was between 9 11.

1, 2, 3, 4, your sis is such a whore,

5, 6, 7, 8, she has cum on her face.

1, 2 look at your shoes.

3, 4 they look better than yours.

5, 6 you have no friends.

7, 8 you look like a ape.

9, 10 don't you like men?

11, 12 hell naw I like females.

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.

She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!