Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.
It says, "271032."
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.
And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?
What do you call a black person?
Dark humor.
What the sigma?
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
Why did the gay guy say the n word? Cos he's retarded.
My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
Why did the guy bring a rope to the party?
Because he wanted to hang out... permanently. 💀😈
