Worst Jokes Ever
I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.
"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.
"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.
The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"
The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
What does Michael Jackson say when he is peeing? "My wa-a-ter falls, I am calling you-hoo-hoo-hoo." The source on this? The accusers and CNN.
What is Michael Joseph Jackson's favorite song? "The boys are back in town."
What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
What kind of drinks does Michael Joseph Jackson like to drink? Boysenberry tea-hee-hee, and tea-hee-hee.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What does Michael Jackson like to use to clean himself? Baby wipes.
What are Michael Joseph Jackson's favorite songs? "Baby Love" and "Baby Talk to Me."
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.