How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.
Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.
Mom: Well, it’s my house.
Little Johnny: Then go clean it.
Mom: Go to school!
At school:
Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.
Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.
Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs Nice tits
