A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
What do you call a black woman?
A Nigg-girl.
Did you know I can't count to whatever number is after 4?
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
What do you call a peso?
A wetback greenback.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
My favorite meme is, "N_gga."
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
I'd tell a Luigi joke but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Q. what do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head? A. An ambulance.
