Worst Jokes Ever
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
I got you the candy. Haha! You idiot, it's poison!
Why do I support slavery?
Because I’m white.
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.
Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".
Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.
I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"
Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."
Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.