Women jokes
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
What do tampons and your sister have in common?
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Women deserve rights and lefts.
I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.
Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.