Women jokes

"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

Women deserve rights and lefts.

How does Hellen Keller meet men?

She goes on blind dates.

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

What's the difference between women and men?

Men have rights.

Why are there more female history teachers than male?

Because women like to bring up the past.

Why do blondes wear tight skirts?

To keep their legs closed.

Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.

Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.

Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees.

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?

They both kidnap Canadian women!

Why do trans women go by she/her?

Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.

I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.

I guess it was a bad delivery.

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!