Winston jokes

What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?

Winston Churchill.

Yo mama is so evil that Dallas Winston fell in love with her.

What cigarettes does Churchill's wife like to smoke?

Blue Winston.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.