Winston jokes

What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?

Winston Churchill.

Yo mama is so evil that Dallas Winston fell in love with her.

What cigarettes does Churchill's wife like to smoke?

Blue Winston.

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?

What do you take care of after a car crash?

The witnesses.

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.

The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.

The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"

The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"