Winston jokes

What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?

Winston Churchill.

Yo mama is so evil that Dallas Winston fell in love with her.

What cigarettes does Churchill's wife like to smoke?

Blue Winston.

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.

The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.

The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"

The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"

Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."