Winner jokes

"Rehab's for quitters, and I don't give up."

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...

What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?

They both came in a little behind.

I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.

I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?

The wiener.

Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.

Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.

What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?

A: They both come in a little behind.

Gaston gets the no-Belle prize! :D

Name the emojis, and if you do, then you get 900/900 points for knowing all the emojis! Type in the comment section.

1. 😀 What's this emoji meaning? 2. 😃 What's this emoji meaning? 3. 😚 What's this emoji meaning? 4. 😁 What's this emoji meaning? 5. 😍 What's this emoji meaning? 6. 😋 What's this emoji meaning? 7. 🧐 What's this emoji meaning? 8. 😟 What's this emoji meaning? 9. 😳 What's this emoji meaning? 10. 😟 What's this emoji meaning? 11. 😰😨 What's this emoji meaning? 12. 😏 What's this emoji meaning? 13. 😬 What's this emoji meaning? 14. 🤐😣 What's this emoji meaning? 15. 😦🥺 What's this emoji meaning?

The winner who will win will be getting 900/900 points!

Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?

He won the no-Bell prize.

Why can’t orphans play poker?

Because they don’t know what a full house is! 🥵🥵👴😂🔫😈💀💀💀💀💀💀

GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!

Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!

And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.

To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.

I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

Why did the African win the food eating contest?

Beginner's luck.

Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!

I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.