Wilkes jokes

Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.

Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.

Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?

Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!

John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."

Fiancee: "Break a leg!"

No one:

Literally no one:

Abraham Lincoln: *dies*

John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*

Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.

What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?

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