Why jokes

Chicken

1 view ·

You: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Random person: Why?

You: To get to the idiot's house!

Random person: What?

You: Knock knock.

Random person: Who's there?

You: The chicken.

Dog

101 views ·

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

Son

2 views ·

Mom: Son, did you go to school?

Son: What if I said yes?

Mom: You are in school! *slap*

Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.

Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(

Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.

Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!

Son: Good.

Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?

If you like it, please commit down.

Gun

6 views ·

During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.

I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.

Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”

My friend was the only one who laughed.

God

8 views ·

Why did God create women with pussies?

Because:

1. Of course, God is a man.

2. Of course, he isn't gay.

3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!

Cat

23 views ·

An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.

“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.

“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.