New Wheelchair Jokes - Page 12

What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.

What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?

MEALS ON WHEELS :-)

If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.

The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.

I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

Sit down comedy.

Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."

Why did the wheels not move on his wheelchair?

Because he had no legs.

So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.

So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!

So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......

What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.

What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?

Mixed nuts.

What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?

A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.

My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??

Rollin' and Controllin'.

I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.

Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"