Whats jokes
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.
They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
What type of phones do orphans have?
IPhone XR—it has no home button.
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
What did Mars say to Saturn?
"Give me one of your rings!" 😄
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
What do you call a fat man with a rape whistle? Hogan!
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
Me: What did the twin say to the other twin?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: I'll fall with you.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.