Weighing scale jokes

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."

Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!

Yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said, "To be continued..."

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.

Everyone else in the minefield...

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.

Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."

Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.