We jokes

Blame Austria for creating Hitler, who we know today. He failed art school.

Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.

Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."

What do me and an emo kid have in common:

We both like to hang.

Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.

Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.

Husband: The second we entered the beach,

Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"

Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.

We were making jokes before the second tower even fell!

Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."

Abortion is beautiful. I wish we could all be aborted.

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

Your hairline goes so far back, we learned about it in history class.

Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."

At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."

I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.

We (DYM 133).

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."

What do you mean cook? We wait till summer.

"Gwen, can we talk..."

What is an orphan's least favorite song? We Are Family.