A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
my therapist told me that time heals wounds i stabbed him now we wait
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.
Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
