We jokes

Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?

A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."

What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.

We don't read backwards.

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?

Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

my therapist told me that time heals wounds i stabbed him now we wait

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

An orphan? We no jokes.

Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.

Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

What do we want? Racecar noises!

When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.

I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.