Vaccine

Vaccine Jokes

Autism

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

Year

Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?

A: He was in a mid-life crisis.

Lady

I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."

Carrie Underwood

How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?

Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.

Mama

Yo mama so ugly,

they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.

Water

How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."

Woman

Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.

Meat

Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!

Question

A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....

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  • Kid

    Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?

    A. Nothing, they both die at ten.

    Kid

    How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?

    It's only got 10 hours to live.