One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on EBay, The Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.
I can make a living with the Treat Yo self budget
Yet I can’t use the Help yo self budget
btw friend here also wants to do suicide
friend:why did i cross the road??? me:to get to the other side. friend:true!
friend:hey lets go hang out at the forest today! me:ok *grabs ropes for the both of us and rushes outside bc this is a lucky day* friend:hey atleast we did it!
friend:whats the best thing about me? me:you will eventually end. friend:hmmmmmm . . . true!
friend:what historical time influenced you the most? me:the great depression
if i could be an object id be glass because im see through and i can shatter with the minimum difficulty immediately!
my parents sometimes say im their sunshine! . . . because im painful if you look at me.
teacher:what does km/s mean? me+like almost all of the class:*in unison* it means kill myself but misspelled
friend:whats the best way to end a game? me:with death friend: . . . hmmm now that you think about it yeah! thats the best way!
when your about to jump down a cliff but you realize that you cant litter there
google says that your about 75% water but im make of 101% depression 101% anxiety 101% suicidal 101% stress
brain be like will_to_live.exe, happiness.exe, and many more others not found also you have now got crippling_depression.exe, anxiety.exe, suicide_thoughts.exe, suicide_attempts, and stressful_life.exe so so so much many more
how do you keep weeds away? just put a bucket of crippling depression and suicidal thought and attempts in the soil and then they just kill themselves. problem solved.
when you take antidepressants but they dont work it will just make you more depressed and thats a fact
a bored depressed suicidal person:*sees a dying person* dying person:p-l-pls c-c-c-call m-me a-an amb-b-bulancccee *wheeze* *dies* bored depressed suicidal person:hmmmm ur an ambulance dying person:*manages to get back up* bored depressed suicidal person:oooooohh goddddd dying person:*in a demonic tone* BUT NOT FOR ME~
roses are red inside im dead i have crippling depression some one pls shoot my head
when you finally open up to a person who you think will care and understand but it turns out that they dont you:*panickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanicking*
the only time you should lift your spirits up is when your gonna hang yourself
a made up story starting now so i went to school as usual theres a school shooting all the depressed suicidal people:*crave death* *walks up to shooter* all say KILL ME a made up story starting ending
in this one the friend isnt suicidal friend:wanna play a game? me:life wait no a game has a meaning friend: . . . *crickets* friend:calls suicide hotline me:wait no!!!!!
me:*has crippling depression* *asks mom why i was born* mom:hmmm i think i was drunk and on a lotta drugs me:hmmm tysm *gets the rope* mom:*making hanging puns* me:*hurries to the trash truck*
me:at this point ive lived about a decade depressed and suicidal that i dont struggle with it now, im good at it and its all normal
hope you enjoyed
Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the united states that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library? Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle, the Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieved political and social goals
👏 👍👍 👌 👌 👏 🙌 💪💪😁
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
i used to hate foot fungus, but now its growing on me
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card and we live far and we my mom was hungry. A guy and his friend had a car and k us if we were lost. We said no we have no ride, no money and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each so I was driving the car and my mom gave the both guys a blowjob. We had to get out the car to look for something then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I ask what the bad news that they're not taking us home so I ask what the good news they told me that they feed my mom and drove off. I guess where we i guess the left us wsnt long walk and my mom wasm't hungry no more.
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century Slaves
Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa
egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, mf look like a damn balloon. call me kobe cause im finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo parents. mr clean, bootleg saitama lookin ass mfer. no hair? :(
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common? They both use strap on tools
Bro used the Quadratic formula to calculate the velocity of your -234 going down hairline
What is the difference in between a orphan and a candle?
One is used
your hairline so bad it was used as the starbucks logo
yo mama so poor she used a kfc bucket as a rain hat
Of an orphan wins the lottery what do they have to use all of it on
Years of child support
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it but when I use her body when I feel like it I am the bad guy?
why cant asian people use a telephone Because they might wing the wong number
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
