Use jokes
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
Yo mama so old the carpenter uses her crotch as sandpaper.
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
God: “Stephen, join us!”
*sees the staircase to heaven.*
Stephen: “Shit!”
God: “Steven, join us.”
*sees the staircase to heaven*
Steven: “Shit.”
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
Stephen Hawking isn’t dead, he’s just using VPN.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."