Tourism Jokes

Snack Bar

When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

Dam

I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.

Big Ben

At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!

Dad

When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.

Tour Guide

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...

Tour Guide

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Bus

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.

EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

School shooting

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

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  • Bangkok

    We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.

    Tour Guide

    I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.

    Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.

    Campground

    Q: Why can't you run through a campground?

    A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!

    Whore

    Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.

    What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.

    Tower

    Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.

    Tower

    A married couple are on holiday in Italia. They look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He says: - Look, honey, this tower is crookedly standing! She: - Shut up!

    (Standing means: penis erection)

    Fog

    After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"

    Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"