Tourism jokes
When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"
The Titanic is now a resort for fish.
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite place to visit?
"Hee-Heegypt!"
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.
EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.
So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.
We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.
What is an emo's favorite place?
Niagara Falls.
What is cum's favorite hotel?
The Four Semens.
I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.
Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.
"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.
A married couple are on holiday in Italia. They look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He says: - Look, honey, this tower is crookedly standing! She: - Shut up!
(Standing means: penis erection)
After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"
Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"