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I specialize in jokes about orphans. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.

Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.

Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.

First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."

You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?

The second one never lands as good as the first one.

Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?

Because they don't have them on the inside.

Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.

What are they gonna tell their parents?

What do lesbians and turtles have in common?

They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)