Thereness jokes
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
Son: Daddy?
Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy? You're 11 years old, feminine gay hoe.
Son: Whoa!? Daddy, what's that?
Dad: Wtf are you talking about?
Son: Your dick has gotten more tastier?
Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc
Dad: Oh nope, I'm not having a gay hoe's fiend in my house, no quit looking at my dick, you need some pussy.
Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz
Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em
Mom: What the fugde is going on?
Dad: Our son's a gay bitch.
Mom: Language! So? I need to teach him how to like a girl huh?
Dad: Yes Ma'am, plz.
Mom: Okay. Herman, get your gay ass in my bed but naked, I'll be there in 10.
Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!??
Mom: Quit cursing, I'm gonna fuck u extra hard!!
Son: Ewww, I'm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww.
Mom: Shut it!!!, or I'm gonna recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies (pussy naked)* and show this to ur gay fuck friends!
Son: Huh
Son: Mom FUCK U*
Mom: Okay baby I'm gonna fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off
Son: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
Son: Moms are the worst, are they?
Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.
Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?
Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.
Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.
Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!
Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...
NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Why can’t orphans f*ck their mom?
Because they don’t have one.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there? Control Freak. Con... OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
"Knock knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Your mom is so fat, she can't make it through the door.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Their dad didn't come back with the milk.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry, it's just a joke."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby C D E F G!
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.