Their jokes

How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?

Mufasa.

North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.

Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."

The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."

Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."

What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

The look on their face when you're nailing them.

Why is America so bad at chess?

They lost both of their towers.

How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.

What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?

They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.

Why is it ok to smack an orphan?

What are they going to do? Tell their parents!

Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?

Because their dad never came back with milk.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.

What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.

🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can watch the expression on their face.

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.

These jokes are so dark that their life matters.

Why does an orphan’s calendar only have 363 days?

There are no Father’s or Mother’s Days on their calendar.

Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.

Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!