Their jokes
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
Memes
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
Why don't Indians like snow?
Because it's white all over their land.
Why can't England play chess? Because they lost their queen!
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.