Their jokes

What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.

Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?

To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.

Why don't oysters share their pearls?

Because they're shellfish!

Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...

"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

What did the paintings name their daughter?

Palette.

What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.

What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.

Why is it so easy to bully an orphan? What are they gonna do, tell their mum?

Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.

Q: Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

A: Because their dad is shopping for the milk.

Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?

Because they lost their two best shooters...

Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."

What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.

What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

doctor: you need to eat healthy.

me: no.

doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.

me: oh my goodness.

doctor: in a plane crash.

me: that sounds unrelated.

doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!