The jokes

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?

One of them actually came back.

Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.

What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.

What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.

With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?

The home button.

Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.

Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?

When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,

but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.

*Is honestly the best policy.*

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?

Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.

What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?

Smoking.

A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”

Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.

I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.

There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”

Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.