The jokes

What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.

I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.

What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.

If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?

Why was 10 afraid?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

What did I do with the internet?

Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To find their parents.

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?

Batman returns.

What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.