The jokes

I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.

I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.

Orphans

The “F” in orphan stands for family.

Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?

Because the home button does not work.

What happened when the man died? Yes.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

I'm so confused. Who is Gwen? The only Gwen I can think of is the one from Spiderman. 😂

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

What was the ballpoint's favorite sport? Pen-nis.

Orphans: Where are my parents?

Random person: In the bed.

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

Why does Lincoln like Ronnie Anne?

She is the only one that calls me "lamo."

The belt broke.

Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

A. Because it has a silent pee.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!

What does a gorilla attorney study?

The law of the jungle.

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."