The jokes

Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"

Oh... wait.

Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?

Because it didn’t have one.

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.

How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.

What did the baseball ⚾️ say to the bat?

“We should touch base.”

Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!

Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!

I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.

Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?

He doesn't have a motherland.

What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.

What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?

They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.

What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?

Dog poop touches grass.

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?

They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!