The jokes

Up into the sky so very far, here comes Dr. Seuss! "ALLAHU AKBAR", at the ripe old age of 97, he committed 9/11.

How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.

What's the definition of trust?

Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.

What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"

What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?

Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭

If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.

What's the most expensive haircut in the world?

Chemotherapy.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms.

Why couldn't she get up?

She had no friends.

Knock Knock (Who's there?)

Not Sally...

Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.

He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.

Who are the fastest readers? The victims of 9/11. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.

Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.

One day, little Billy came in, pulling up his pants. The teacher asks, "Where have you been, Billy?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, little Willy came in. The teacher asked, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." Ten minutes later, little Johnny came in. The teacher says again, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, a girl came in. The teacher says, "Who are you?" She says, "I'm Beverly Hill."

Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.

What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.

In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."

A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.

"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.

"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"

The priest shakes his head.

"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.

"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."

What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.