The jokes

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?

Nothing, he doesn't have any.

If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.

Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?

He wanted to eat ahead of the others.

Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.

We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.

Why did the female dicktator get fired? She had too much dick!

Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?

Because she’s dead.

What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?

Nazrat.

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What’s a skeleton's favorite instrument?

The trom-BONE.

Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!

Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

I got the joke from my brother.

To people who say that depression hits hard...

The car begs to disagree.

I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?

Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?