The jokes
I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.
They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”
Some guy: making a sandwich.
Me: *rages* to put the ham in!
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
Yo mama's so stupid that when she went to the Super Bowl, she brought a spoon.
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They wanted pepperoni, but got plane instead.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, and I got plane'd.
Goofy ahh grandpa fell down the stairs, and he said, "Damn!"
Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.
Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
Your hairline and forehead must be friends, because they go way back further than the universe.
Yo mama so fat she is the Google JavaScript loading.
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dora the Explorer couldn’t find it.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.