The jokes
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!
A man with a mullet walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
Where did Lucy go in the bombing... Everywhere.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.