The jokes
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
Who is the oldest Dave?
Daveon.
Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.
I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some cash withdrawals.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the rap battle?
For WORDPLAY!
Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?
"Dirty bitch, you are."
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.