The jokes

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?

One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.

Your forehead is so big, it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.

Why is the white man in prison scarier than the black one?

The white one actually did it!

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

Why do orphans die young?

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Your hairline looks like the Batman symbol.

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because when he was told "go big or go home," he only had one option.

Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.

How did the orphan become famous?

By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the

Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!

What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Where's your mom?

In the bin.

Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.

What did one nut say to the other?

“Cashew later.”