The jokes

Mama

Yo mama's so fat, she's both in the Atlantic and Pacific ocean.

Department

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

Grade

When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.

When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.

Singer

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

Eye

What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?

One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.

Cake

Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?

He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.

Orphan

Why can't the orphan run past third base?

'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.

Orphan

Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.

Meat

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

Toy

I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......

Orphan

Why do orphans have cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

Soldier

My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.

Mama

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.