The jokes
What did the therapist say to the rapist yes please
What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? Bricks get laid.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
Memes
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they were pissed as all they got was plane.
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.
Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"
Where do orphans have their family reunions?
The graveyard.
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
What did the mountain say to the helicopter? Kobee.
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)