The Count jokes

A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.

There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.

1-2-..... and he left without a trace.

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.

Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"

There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.

How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.