The Count jokes

A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.

There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.

1-2-..... and he left without a trace.

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.

There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.

Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"

How many times does 43 go into 8?

Get in the van and find out.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

What's the best thing about 28 year olds?

- There's 20 of them.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."