Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
