Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"
Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
What did the doctor say to the terminally ill Power Ranger It's Morphine Time
Chuck Norris once stabbed the Terminator with Bruce Lee
What happens when the terminator pees?
Gasoline descent
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".