The 10+ Best Terminal Jokes

What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport???

•terminal

A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?" Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?" Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."

How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:

1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝

These came down deep from my heart don’t let me down again, please.

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly? Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...I bought a Dalek egg timer recently... After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!

What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

Chuck Norris once stabbed the Terminator with Bruce Lee

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

God when terminally ill children beg him to heal them

God: No, I don’t want to

Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back? Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.

A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked. “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?” He replied, “Yes I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.

EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy WebMD: Cancer.