My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs. "For the last time Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!" The man with glasses frowns. "Where did all the others go, then?"
One day Nathan came in ten minutes late to Mr Jones's class. Mr Jones asked him, "Nathan, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nathan says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill. Then Dave came in a further ten minutes late to Mr Jones's class. Mr Jones asked him, "Dave, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dave says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill. Then Mike came in a further ten minutes late to Mr Jones's class. Mr Jones asked him, "Mike, what do you have to say for yourself?" Mike says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill. Then five minutes later a new girl walked in to Mr Jones's lesson. Mr Jones is at the end of his tether now and says, "Who are you and why are you late?" The new girl says, "Sir, I'm called Cherry Hill"
Why did Steven hawking die? He tried to get the free cracked version of windows ten
How many times do yo tickle a squid before it laughs???
TEN-TICKLES
In about ten days Stephen Hawkings wheelchair is going to have its first and last service
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
what is worse 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 baby stapled to ten trees.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will. Sadly, no pun InTenDid.
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone
2 pedophilles talking to each other: do you got 2 fives for 1 ten?
How may times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh Ten-tickles!
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
When I go to bed... my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick... and beats me with it.
Girls are like math if there under ten then you use your fingers
A pedophile is chatting on the internet : "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten-tickles.
